sweet babes if down for her first ever cry-free nap all alone in her bassinet... we'll see how long this lasts - in the meantime i'll update quickly like a mad-woman! a sleep deprived, flabby, new mother mad-woman...
ok, so rosie-cakes is now almost 5 weeks old! time flies! praise Jesus for this... i'm loving my new sweet little girl. but it's hard. i'm just going to say it. so many times i think women refuse to admit how hard something is - WHY? it's like when i was pregnant and all these weird, gross, freaky things are happening to your body and you go to your mom friends and you say, ok, what's the deal? and they look at you like you're a freak. thank goodness i had several girls who got real with me - thank you shannon and claire! anyhow - so now i will be real about mommyhood. it's freaking hard. like the real deal, hardest thing i've ever done in my life. but i love it! i'm so tired. more tired than i've ever been EVER. and i'm freaked out most of the time. i worry i'm messing her up. i have oodles of nannying experience, i know how to care for kids, but it's so different when she's my own. i don't have another mom saying you need to do this and this... ok, well i do - i've gotten SO much unsolicited advice. if i ask - awesome, tell me, PLEASE! but don't just randomly approach me and tell me how i need to do things better. for instance, don't tell me to give my baby a bottle of water - just don't - she doesn't need plain water. and also, don't make me feel bad for not breastfeeding - our little family made a choice that was best for us. rosie is thriving! she's already gained almost three pounds and is healthy as can be. don't tell me i'm bad for choosing to do something different. oh yeah, and don't make me feel bad b/c she's still sleeping with us. i KNOW that this not the ideal, trust me - i KNOW. the dark circles under my eyes can tell you that i know i need to fix the current sleeping situation. but it's hard. it's so hard to hear your angel baby cry. speaking of which, she's woken up and is crying right now :-( and you know what else, she's got a spirit just like her momma and daddy's - she doesn't give up. we've tried putting her down in her crib and she will cry and cry. the little nugget is only 5 weeks old - i can't stand to let her cry too much. and she doesn't give up. and she's a diva! she won't take a paci, she doesn't like her bouncy seat, or the car seat! she only likes to be held a certain way. so you know what - every baby is different and we're working on things! we'll get there. maybe not as a fast as i had hoped, but we will get there.
ok - enough, i'm fussy myself today it seems! it's just hard. it's so hard having everyone judge you all the time and being so full of doubt myself, wondering what the heck am i doing? am i forever ruining my baby? am i damaging my marriage by letting the baby sleep with us?
she's amazing though. she's got the sweetest little spirit. she's so curious - wants to look at everything. she loves to walk around and see things. she likes music, just like her parents :-) she's a snuggle bug and wants to be loved and held. and though i know it isn't real yet, she has the most beautiful smile in the whole world. we adore her!
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
You are doing everything right! There is no wrong way... Some people may not agree with your choices BUT you may not agree with theirs. They were all first-time parents too. You have to learn what works best for all three of you and it sounds like you have a pretty good grasp. You won't damage her :o) There is no such thing as spoiling a child. Why not give her all of the love that you have? Nobody knows your child better than you do... NEVER forget that! xoxo
Post a Comment